Mommy loves me, this I know.

It’s Mother’s Day again. It wasn’t a day free of poopy diapers and baby puke and whining or shopping with two kids in tow. My sister made us lunch (it was awesome), but other than that, it was a regular day. Or was it? I’ve found Mother’s Day to be a great time to reflect.

Five years ago on Mother’s Day, The Girl and I went to church. She was all of two months old, and it was my first Mother’s Day as a mother. After the service I was shocked when the man next to me wished me a Happy Mother’s Day. Someone who wasn’t even my kid. As the next few years went on, The Girl would come home from daycare with Mother’s Day treats: pictures she’d drawn, or other art her tiny little hands had “help” with. I loved all of them, and was genuinely surprised each time. Maybe I’ll never get used to the thoughtfulness of her care providers

This year was especially wonderful. The Girl came home from preschool with a candle holder she’d made out of a baby food jar, a picture of herself on the monkeybars, and this (which I plan to keep forever and ever):

 

Friday after school, I picked both kids up from daycare. The Girl surprised me again (no, really!) with a potted plant, and a fantastic piece of art. I love when she’s quoted, even if we all know she’s fibbing

 

And The Boy. I rushed in to get him, grabbed his jacket and hat from his locker, and heard one of the ladies who cares for him say, “Don’t forget your card!” I was shocked. I took a thin piece of yellow paper off the shelf, opened it, and my eyes immediately teared up.

 

My pregnancy with The Boy was hard. Not physically — it went as well as any pregnancy should go. I was in school, trying to make a better life for The Girl and I, alone, facing the social stigma of already having one child out of wedlock, financially just getting by, and I found myself pregnant. Again. Alone. I cringe at “unwanted,” but he was definitely “unplanned” and I had a really hard time accepting that I would have another mouth to feed, and honestly, had a hard time even accepting the pregnancy. Some days, I had wished it would just go away…

And then, this poor little thing, who’s beautiful and funny and full of smiles and never ever asks for anything except milk and snuggles made ME a Mother’s Day card. I flipped it open carefully.

 

But the only words I could see were, “I know it’s hard, Mommy. Thanks for having me.”